A support group for serious and experienced submissive women


You have options...

We understand the requirements for LATCHES membership are stringent. There are very good reasons for this. . . among them is the fact that we have been around since 1997 and continue to thrive so we know we are doing something right.

In addition to LATCHES, we offer another option for submissives to consider. If real time experience is currently a limiting factor for you, consider joining SIEVE. You may explore about SIEVE by clicking here.

What is LATCHES?

The following pages contain information about LATCHES including the group's history, "Keys", and what members have to say about the group. We have also shared some of the topics which have come up for discussion on our private mail list. 

Interested in joining LATCHES?

Are you... 


21 years of age or older?

Real life experienced a minimum of 9-12 months?

Willing to actively participate?

Willing to share honestly with other submissive women?

We are a reality-focused lifestyle Ds discussion list for real time, experienced female submissives. Member relationships must incorporate some aspect or practice of BDSM as well. Though, we do not discuss online issues i.e.: netiquette, etc., topics with online components have arisen on the list from time to time.

We expect each member to treat the next with dignity and respect. This also extends to those who give of their time to run the list. We expect that members will apply the "best intent" rule when sharing or responding to questions put to the group. What is the "best intent" rule? It is the one that says no matter what, assume that another member has the best intent when participating on the list. It is the one that says negatively over-reacting to what someone say is inappropriate before you ask for clarification as to what they meant before launching a verbal counter-attack. 

Discussions on our list and the identities of fellow members is strictly confidential. We do not promise 100% confidentiality but we do our best in protecting our members' privacy. If your Dom/me insists upon reading your email, you should not apply for membership. Topics may be discussed off list however specifics as to the person discussing those topics and their specific personal identity and details are considered private information. Breaking list confidentiality is grounds for unsubscription. 

Though it is not a fully moderated list, we do have guidelines and a team of members who enforce them. It is really important to understand that we are  not a 'perfect' solution. There are plenty of people who have come and gone over the years because we have not met their needs. By and large, we try to meet the needs of the majority. That is the best we can hope for.

If you are interested in receiving an application, we ask that you initiate the process by writing a paragraph telling us a little bit about yourself and your submission and BDSM experience. We are in the process of automating our application request process. Once you send in your request, you will receive a response asking you to confirm your request. Once you have returned the confirmation, you will receive additional information. If you do not confirm your request, you will not receive any more information. 


Click here to begin the application process

Sadly, we receive a few extremely negative emails. An example of this was sent, not to our email address, but left *unidentified* as a comment in our "Ask Away" Q&A areas. We could have just deleted it, but felt it offered some value to those who might contemplate requesting an application. The message (unedited) follows, along with some possible explanations:

May I ask why you feel it necessary to not rspond to people you will not include in your group. I wrote an email about 3 months ago and i guess I am not submissive enough for your group (although i do live ina 24/7 Master/slave relationship). My point is I have no idea whether or not my email was received or not, because the only people you reply to are the ones you deem "worthy" enough to be in your group.

We highlight this message for a number of reasons. First off, we RARELY turn anyone away from this group who meets the above requirements and completes the application process. Women who do not meet the experience qualification are offered membership in our SIEVE group until such time as they have the requisite 9-12 months r/t experience. Of course there are other reasons for not accepting a new member but suffice to say it is not because we deem anyone to be 'not submissive enough'. 

So what could have been the problem with the above person's alleged email request? Well, who the heck knows! We are human beings. Please consider that only a handful of people work behind the scenes,  none of us are paid and we all have lives to lead outside of this group. We do what we can and are grateful when anyone volunteers service to help out. 

  • Could it possibly be that we never received this persons request? Highly possible. Email being what it is, there could have been any number of reasons why we did not respond, including never having received the request. 
  • Perhaps the request did not include an introductory paragraph. If so, the request was deleted without response or explanation as is noted above. 
  • If this person was using an AOL account and did not set their account to receive outside mail our response could not have possibly been received. 

Sadly, this 'person' chose not to follow up with us directly, but rather by leaving an unpleasant message without any identifying information that would allow us to reach out. The moral of the story? Don't jump to conclusions :) A simple follow up email will resolve most any matter. 



This website contains mature themed material having to do with alternative lifestyles.  However, there is NO nudity or pornography within this site. Don't bother going any further if that is what you are looking for.

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