This checklist can be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.  Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.

For each item, you need to provide two answers:



Have you had real time experience with the activity? 

Indicate YES or NO next to each item. Write N/A if it does not apply to your gender.


Are you willing/open to try an activity?
For each item, indicate the degree to which you are willing to try that particular activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0-5 (see rating scale below).

If you write "no", it means you will not do that item under any circumstance (a hard limit). There is nothing wrong with indicating 'no' on an item. However, if you write 'no' next to every item, you should probably find another interest to pursue.... like knitting or basket weaving. *grin*

If you do not understand what an activity is, mark that item with a "?".

Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners

Rating Scale

0 Utterly no desire to do that activity and don’t like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and ordinarily would object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if they really wanted it (sometimes called a soft limit)
1 Don’t want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn’t object it if was asked of you
2 Willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you
3 Usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/occasional basis
4 You like doing this activity and would like to experience it on a regular basis
5 Is a wild turn-on for you and you would like it as often as possible


Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the comments section.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub is the recipient/target of the activity




Respond YES/NO


Rate according to scale described above


Age Play      
Anal Sex      
Anal Plugs (small)      
Anal Plugs (large)      
Anal Plug (public under clothes)      
Animal Roles      
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)      
Auctioned for charity      
Ball Stretching      
Bathroom use control      
Beating (soft)      
Beating (hard)      
Being Serviced (sexual)      
Being bitten      
Breast/chest bondage      
Breath control      
Boot Worship      
Bondage (light)      
Bondage (heavy)      
Bondage (multi-day)      
Bondage (public under clothing)      
Breast whipping      
Brown showers (scat)      
Cages (locked inside)      
Castration fantasy      
Cattle prod (electrical toy)      
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)      
Chamber pot use      
Chastity belts      
Chores (domestic service)      
Cock rings/straps      
Cock worship      
Collars (worn in private)      
Collars (worn in public)      
Competitions (with other subs)      
Corsets (wearing casually)      
Corsets (trained waist reduction)      
Cuffs (leather)      
Cuffs (metal)      
Diapers (wearing)      
Diapers (wetting)      
Diapers (soiling)      
Double Penetration      
Enemas (for cleansing)      
Enemas ( retention/punishment)      
Enforced chastity      
Erotic Dance (for audience)      
Examinations (physical)      
Exercise (forced/required)      
Exhibitionism (friends)      
Exhibitionism (strangers)      
Eye contact restrictions      
Face Slapping      
Fantasy Abandonment      
Fantasy rape      
Fantasy gang rape      
Fear (being scared)      
Fisting (anal)      
Fisting (vaginal)      
Flame play      
Following orders      
Foot worship      
Forced bedwetting      
forced dressing      
Forced eating      
Forced homosexuality      
Forced heterosexuality      
Forced masturbation      
Forced nudity (private)      
Forced nudity (around others)      
Forced Servitude      
Forced smoking      
Full head hoods      
Gags (cloth)      
Gags (inflatable)      
Gags (phallic)      
Gags (rubber)      
Gags (tape)      
Gas masks      
Gates of Hell (male)      
Genital sex      
Given away to another Dom (temp)      
Given away to another Dom (perm)      
Golden Showers      
Gun play      
Hair brush spankings      
Hair pulling      
Hand Jobs (giving)      
Hand Jobs (receiving)      
Harems (serving w/other subs)      
Harnessing (leather)      
Harnessing (rope)      
Having food chosen for you      
Having clothing chosen for you      
(head (give fellatio/cunnilingus)      
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus)      
High Heel Wearing      
High Heel Worship      
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)      
Hot oils (on genitals)      
Hot waxing      
Housework (doing)      
Human puppy dog      
Humiliation (private)      
Humiliation (public)      
Ice cubes      
Initiation rites      
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage      
Knife play      
Leather Clothing      
Leather restraints      
Lectures for misbehavior      
Licking (non-sexual)      
Lingerie (wearing)      
Manacles and Irons      
Manicures (giving)      
Massage (giving)      
Massage (receiving)      
Medical scenes      
Modeling for erotic photos      
Mouth bits      
Name change (for scene)      
Nipple clamps      
Nipple rings (piercing)      
Nipple weights      
Oral/anal play (rimming)      
Over the knee spanking      
Orgasm denial      
Orgasm control      
Outdoor scenes      
Pain (severe)      
Pain (mild)      
Persona training (in scene)      
Personal modification (rl)      
Phone sex (serving Dom)      
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)      
Phone sex (commercial provider)      
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)      
Piercing (permanent)      
Plastic surgery      
Prison scenes      
Prostitution (public pretense)      
Prostitution (actual)      
Pony slave      
Public exposure      
Punishment scene      
Pussy/cock whipping      
Pussy worship      
Riding crops      
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort)      
Religious scenes      
Restrictive rules on behavior      
Rubber/latex clothing      
Rope body harness      
Saran wrap      
Scratching - getting      
Scratching - giving      
Sensory deprivation      
Serving as art      
Serving as ashtray      
Serving as furniture      
Serving as a maid      
Serving as a toilet (urine)      
Serving as a toilet (feces)      
Serving as waitress/waiter      
Serving orally (sexual)      
Serving other Doms (supervised)      
Serving other Doms (unsupervised)      
Sexual deprivation (short term)      
Sexual deprivation (long term)      
Shaving (body hair)      
Having (head hair)      
Skinny dipping      
Sleep deprivation      
Sleep sacks      
Slutty clothing (private)      
Slutty clothing (public)      
Spandex clothing      
Speech restrictions (when/what)      
Speculums (anal)      
Speculums (vaginal)      
Spreader bars      
Standing in corner      
Straight jackets      
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)      
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)      
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)      
Strapping (full body beating)      
Suspension (upright)      
Suspension (inverted)      
Supplying new partners for Dom      
Swallowing feces      
Swallowing semen      
Swallowing urine      
Swapping (with one other couple)      
Swinging (multiple couples)      
Tampon training (in ass)      
TENS unit (electrical toy)      
Thumb cuffs (metal)      
Triple Penetration      
Urethral Sounds (metal rods)      
Including others      
Vaginal dildo      
Verbal humiliation      
Vibrator on genitals      
Violet wand (electrical toy)      
Voyeurism (watching others)      
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)      
Video (watching others)      
Video (recordings of you)      
Water torture      
Waxing (hair removal)      
Wearing symbolic jewelry      
Weight gain (forced)      
Weight loss (forced)      
Wooden paddles      


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